Please place your item in the bagging area

If you have a rewards card, please scan it now.

Your rewards card has been accepted.

Your purchases will be tracked.

Your purchases will be reported to all relevant law enforcement agencies.

Your purchase history can and will be used against you in a court of law.

This register does not accept cash payments; would you like to continue?

Money is a social construct used to control you; would you like to continue?

Please scan your items, then place them in the bagging area.

One dollar.

Please place your item in the bagging area.

Two dollars, twenty-five cents.

Please place your item in the bagging area.

Place your BANANAS on the scale.

Move your BANANAS to the bagging area.

Please remove the last item from the bagging area; be sure to scan all items before placing them in the bagging area.

You must respect the bagging area.

The bagging area is a consecrated space, reserved for holy items that have been blessed by the sacred barcode scanner.

Those who violate the sanctity of the bagging area will be stoned to death in accordance with Leviticus 24:14.

Help is on the way.

Four dollars, seventy-five cents.

Please place your item in the bagging area.

Have you scanned all of your items?

How many store-provided bags did you use?

How many of your own bags did you use?

How many bags do you have in the back seat of your car?

How many bags do you have at home?

Why do you have so many bags?

Are you a hoarder?

Do you need an intervention?

Do you want to round up your total and donate the difference to the “stop torturing babies, puppies, and kittens” fund?

Do you not care about babies, puppies, or kittens?

Do you like pulling wings off butterflies?

What is wrong with you?

Do you need an intervention?

Do you have any coupons?

Would you like some coupons?

Who doesn’t love coupons?

Do you think you’re too good for coupons?

Would you like to awaken your class consciousness?

Your interest in class consciousness will be reported to all relevant law enforcement agencies.

Please select your method of payment.

Follow the instructions on the pin pad.

Follow your dreams.

Follow us on Facebook.

Follow the yellow brick road.

Please take your receipt.

Your interest in class consciousness has triggered an IRS audit.

You will need your receipt.

Please remove your bags from the bagging area.

Photo by Adrien Delforge on Unsplash